Have you heard the term gaslighting? Do you know what it means? Are you currently or have you been a victim? In a recent coaching conversation, I was reminded of just how dangerous this behavior is and how damaging it can be to our lives.  In part 1, I share a few examples from my own life of gaslighting and define what gaslighting is and where the term comes from.  In part 2 - next episode - we will dig into the details of how it manifests and what to do about it!  

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Do you ever feel like everyone is pulling you down or holding you back?  Yeah - crabs do that.  Learn what crab mentality is and how it shows up in recovery as Amy shares some of her crab moments. Let's be builders!

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Every semester I give the same "speech" to my math students as we begin class together.  This fall, as I was sharing it again, it hit me just how recovery minded the whole thing is! Hard to believe I didn't catch that before.  I share it with you to help you build hope for the big task that is recovery and as insight into what exactly we are all working to recover from!  

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November 6, 2018

Episode 139: Getting Current

Getting current is one of the first skills we can gain in recovery. In learning how to share our current reality, we learn how to accept where we are.  Once we accept where we are, we can actually make changes. Change can only happen when we accept our current situation. Getting current is how we begin to do that. In this episode, I share the importance of getting current and the obligation we have to do that in healthy adult relationships. Also - I want to get current with you on what has been going on for me the last few months.  

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Continuing our deep dive into Step 10, Amy discusses the third concept from Step 10 - When we were wrong, we promptly admitted it.  Step 10 is the time we really start to focus on the present moment and our present life. We have cleaned up a large portion of our past and are ready to really focus on the present.  This means we become more and more aware of our actions in the moment and how they are impacting ourselves and those around us.  Step 10 gives us tools to build awareness and how to mitigate the impact of our current actions.  We stop fighting with people and we start admitting we are wrong. 

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Everyone has a right to speak their truth. If others don't agree with you, that doesn't invalidate your truth. If you don't speak your truth, it becomes toxic sitting inside of you. These are three realities that I've experienced over the last several months. Especially the last one. When I don't speak the truth of what is going on inside of me and what I'm experiencing, I end up at the bottom of a shame pit I dug for myself.  That is where I'm at today and that is why I need to speak that out loud.  It helped me so much. I hope it helps you as well!

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Did you know that Self-Care was finally added to the dictionary? You now have a legitimate resource to help you prioritize taking care of yourself. If it’s in the dictionary – it’s real! Now, we need to look at what the definition of self-care is and what areas of our life we need to maintain and upkeep ourselves. It’s so much more than a pedicure or a night out with friends. Listen to Amy discuss what she is doing on a daily basis and how to re-define self-care for yourself. 

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The Implementation Dip is a massive part of the change process.  It has been studied in education for decades and is a massive part of the strategic planning.  It shows us that when we first start to change and put in maximum effort, we aren’t going to see the result we want right away.  In fact, we will see a dip in our performance and results.  In this episode, Amy explains what the implementation dip is, how it effects us in recovery, and shares her methods for navigating this dip. 

Links to additional insights about the Implementation Dip: 

This one includes graphs for you to look at!!! 

http://www.saspa.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Fullan_The_Six_Secrets_of_Change-1.pdf 

http://www.ghaea.org/files/IowaCoreCurriculum/Module1/Mod1-FullanChangeLeaderArticle.pdf  

https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=fYSBCwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA212&dq=the+implementation+dip&ots=OjMjIzTZyW&sig=4e9VF2PgCQxMaDp1PDVDih16oVo#v=onepage&q=the%20implementation%20dip&f=false 

https://insights.sei.cmu.edu/devops/2016/09/three-strategies-to-minimize-the-implementation-dip-in-devops.html 

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Continuing our look at Step 10, Amy dives into what exactly “Personal Inventory” is and why we need it in our recovery process.  The ability accurately self-appraise comes with practice and in time, yet it is a skill that can make the difference in the progress of our recovery. 

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Marnie Feree is one of the pioneers of sex addiction recovery for women. Having been in addiction recovery for over 20 years - she was one of the first to ever show up in the 12-step circle as a woman. She conintues her work for women at Bethesda Workshops (http://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/), the first outpatient intensive program for women in sex addiction.  In this episode, Marnie shares some of her own story and the amazing work she does for women and teens in recovery.  

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