I know you've heard the term: compartmentalize. Maybe you've even heard it glorified and bragged about by people. I'm so good at compartmentalizing my life! And while it can be an effective coping strategy - that is all it is a copying strategy. It helps you survive. However, I'm tired of surviving. I want to thrive. In this episode, I share how I keep mindful of the danger of compartmentalization and a few strategies I've used to become a more integrated, congruent person.
You asked - I'm answering. You wanted to know how I do an evaluation of my life, how I make connections, how I know there is something off and how do I dig deeper into what that is and find clarity. In this episode, I share with you two of tools I use to identify what is off in my life. These tools have helped me for years in identifying where I need to put my focus and energy. I hope they help you as well!
I'm resurrecting an episode that had gotten lost in the archives. Family relationships are hard! We enter recovery thinking that they will get better - that everything will get better! We don't always realize that things don't get better right away. We have to work through so much of the patterns and cycles that we've been in for a long time! Many people ask me how I can still have a relationship with my family when things are so dysfunctional?? Here is my answer!
Jackie and I are EXCITED about what we are doing with One Layer Deeper (1LD). Are you looking to go one layer deeper in your recovery? Then maybe one of our intensives or webinars is right for you! In this episode we talk about how our family of origin contributes so much to our relational template. This template is the foundation from which we operation. It is the template for how we engage with others around us. When this relational template is damaged, it takes hard work to change it and thus dramatically transform our relationships. You can do it! We want to help!
The first step of connection is departure. - Delta Airlines
We change, we have to, or we spend the rest of our lives fighting the same battles!
- Captain James T. Kirk (Star Trek: Beyond)
What do these two quotes have to do with each other? They are two quotes that have resonated as truth with me the last few weeks. The beginning of the year is always a reflective time for me and as I've been thinking about you, I've thought a lot about what departures I need to make in my life. I hope this helps you connect!
Let's keep talking gaslighting!! In this episode we will continue our conversation about what gaslighting is, how you know if that is happening to you, and how to get out!! That is the most important - how you get out of this situation.
Have you heard the term gaslighting? Do you know what it means? Are you currently or have you been a victim? In a recent coaching conversation, I was reminded of just how dangerous this behavior is and how damaging it can be to our lives. In part 1, I share a few examples from my own life of gaslighting and define what gaslighting is and where the term comes from. In part 2 - next episode - we will dig into the details of how it manifests and what to do about it!
Every semester I give the same "speech" to my math students as we begin class together. This fall, as I was sharing it again, it hit me just how recovery minded the whole thing is! Hard to believe I didn't catch that before. I share it with you to help you build hope for the big task that is recovery and as insight into what exactly we are all working to recover from!
Getting current is one of the first skills we can gain in recovery. In learning how to share our current reality, we learn how to accept where we are. Once we accept where we are, we can actually make changes. Change can only happen when we accept our current situation. Getting current is how we begin to do that. In this episode, I share the importance of getting current and the obligation we have to do that in healthy adult relationships. Also - I want to get current with you on what has been going on for me the last few months.